The Subway Hot Pastrami?


Being the uninspired morning person that I am, I oftentimes neglect to make myself lunch for the day and am forced to show up at work empty-handed. Today, unfortunately, was one of those days. “Office food” as it is sometimes referred to, is a typically a depressing notion. My office, located in Waterbury, VT, is not exactly a hub of culinary innovation, so suffice it to say that I do not usually get excited for the prospect of having to purchase and eat office food (except, that is, on Mexican Fridays!).

So today when one of my colleagues suggested going to Subway for lunch, I did all that I could to prevent myself from punching a hole through my computer screen as I agreed to his proposition. I swallowed my pride and thought, what the hell; I’m entitled to a $5 Meatball Marinara foot-long every now and again. We drove to Subway, and after searching for a parking spot for nearly 10 minutes, I entered the establishment’s fog-covered doors seething.

After glaring at the menu for a brief minute, I noticed something of a surprise—the Subway Hot Pastrami?! In shear disbelief, I asked the woman behind the counter to show me a cut of the meat. She opened up a container and pulled out a little plate filled with what looked like legitimate pastrami. I couldn’t believe it. It even had proportionate fat distribution that packaged pastrami has seldom been able to achieve. It looked real.

Once again, I said what the hell, and ordered up a half a pastrami sandwich. Clearly, since we are dealing with Subway, my accouterments would surely be less than pleasing. Let’s go through a little run down of pastrami necessities, and Subway’s lack-there-of:

1) Rye Bread – no dice.

2) Spicy Mustard – they actually have it!

3) Cole slaw – don’t think so.

4) Sliced Dill pickle – surely you jest.

Ultimately, I decided on “Hearty Italian” bread, Swiss cheese, and had them toast the sandwich in an attempt to make it seem more authentic, hopefully. What I was presented with was not much to write home about. The sandwich was oozing with fatty juices, which was just plain unappealing. Additionally, not having rye bread is a detriment to any pastrami sandwich, and the Hearty Italian did not do much to impress my palate. The mustard was weak, and the Swiss wasn’t plentiful enough, but most importantly, the meat was generally inadequate. The pastrami was way too greasy, a tad chewy, and just did not contain nearly enough flavor—though, having said all that, I have certainly tasted worse.

Overall, Subway’s hot pastrami was pretty substandard. Surprisingly though, the quality of the meat was much better than I ever would have anticipated. Next time I am forced to endure a lunch break filled with Subway, I think I’ll stick to the meatball, or as I like to call it, “the bathroom extravaganza.”

8 Responses to “The Subway Hot Pastrami?”

  1. 1 JRobbs

    i have never known you to stoop so low…

  2. omg thats what dad calls it to this is sooo funnie……..just come to philly with the sandwich and get 1 from hymies c how much better it is ! i guess u figured that out already! u should turn this in 2 a book….no joke…ttyl

  3. 3 Catskill_Cat

    I disagree completely. Pastrami is – by definition – a fatty cut of meat. Subway’s pastrami is juicy, tender, and flavorful. I love the coriander seed and pepper seasoning. This is the best pastrami one can find outside of NYC, and a whole lot better than the salty, dry slices of packaged “pastrami”.

    • 4 The Food Insulter

      Yes, you are correct that pastrami is a fatty cut of meat, however when cooked properly, much of that fat is supposed to render out. Subway may have seasoned their pastrami well, though they most certainly fail in executing the cooking phase. No deli meat, despite how fatty in nature, should be dripping with grease when you take a bite of it.

      Furthermore, how can you simply ignore the other parts of the sandwich that were totally inadequate–namely the bread and mustard?

      By proclaiming that Subway’s pastrami “is the best pastrami one can find outside of NYC” I going to have to assume you are from the midwest because a statement like that is an insult to deli owners across the country.

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