Ramblings On Food Processors


I have a confession to make. Up until recently, I have been operating in my kitchen without any sort of legitimate food processing device. I know, I know, a truly unimaginable feat for someone who possesses my culinary talent, though what can I say—come talk to me when you’ve paid off all of your student loans. For the past couple of years I’ve relied on my trusty Magic Bullet, a solid little piece of machinery, (and one which boasts, undeniably, the most captivating infomercial on current circulation. What other infomercial features a hang-over-battling, charming man named Berman, a cigarette wielding grandma named Hazel, and duo of specious and potentially fornicating hosts?) though one which lacks size and durability. Thus, when my bullet died a couple of months ago, I have been forced to live in food processing obscurity. Fortunately, this all changed when my lovely girlfriend bestowed upon me the mother of all kitchen appliances—the Cuisinart Prep 7® 7-Cup Food Processor—Boom!

I was straight giddy when I took the beast of its box. Having not been food shopping in almost two weeks, my pantry was running pretty thin, but as excited as I was, I needed to decimate something fast.

Last week I stumbled upon a recipe for homemade hot sauce that I was linked to from one of my favorite blogs, SeriousEats. The link took me to The Paupered Chef an unfamiliar site for me, though one which was definitely intriguing. The recipe called for items which I had actually had, so considering my poorly stocked cupboard, homemade hot sauce seemed like a no brainer.

Here is the original link if you want to check it out: Paupered Chef Hot Sauce Recipe

I stayed pretty true to the recipe except I substituted pre-ground spices for whole one’s, and instead of dried Chile’s de Arbol, I used some nondescript Thai chilies I bought at my local Asian market.

For my first ever homemade hot sauce it wasn’t bad, though I think there is definitely room for improvement. The first thing that caught me was the intensely hot aroma. This stuff was spicy. When I popped the lid off the Cusinart I couldn’t help but cough—waaaay hotter than my beloved Shiracha. Upon tasting the sauce my palate was inundated with the taste of sesame, and a little too much by my standard. Also, my sauce was a bit runnier than the one illustrated in the original recipe.

Like I said, the sauce wasn’t bad, though as an aspiring hot sauce enthusiast, I think I can do a little better. Next time I’m going to take it easy on the sesame, and maybe add some mustard seed, more salt, and a whole lot more garlic.

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, the infamous Magic Bullet infomercial (part 1):

2 Responses to “Ramblings On Food Processors”

  1. 1 clayton

    i just had to make a serious effort to keep from watching the entire infomercial

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